by Erin, Chief Mom
As soon as we left the ultrasound appointment, my first call was to my parents – “it’s a girl!” My dad’s reply: “justice has finally been served.” And then: “I just hope I’m still around when she gets to high school.”
Very funny, Dad. I too have some consternation about my kids hitting those years. But the good news is that having “been around the block” of teenage rebellion, I feel that I am pretty prepared for the tricks that this age group might pull.
That was, until I heard that the newest trend is for kids to insert vodka soaked tampons into their vaginas. Apparently this works better than mainlining it, leaving less telltale smell on their breath.
Not to be outdone, the boys have figured that they too, can use this method, albeit slightly differently.
Holy shit.
We took vodka filled shampoo bottles on field trips. We had a thriving fake ID business and wore bikinis tops to the beer mart to make sure we got served. Lots of inventive ways to get alcohol, which then entered our body via mouth – guzzled through beer bongs, pounded during speed quarters, or just can to lips on hot nights at the local park.
But Maker’s Mark in our vagines? As resourceful (and stupid) as we were, this was not gonna happen. Plus, you can imagine it would burn like the dickens. So the good news is that it seems this can be largely chalked up to people-who-tried-this-once or urban legend.
But it just serves as a reminder of that teenage adage “if there’s a will, there’s a way” and many of the “ways” have never even crossed my mind. I can’t rest on my laurels.
So instead I will turn to some of the good things that came out of 2011. Check out CurvyGirl’s Best of 2011 List: articles that “made us laugh, cry, and for once, feel like maybe somebody gets it.”
And, since you know I love lists, here is Larissa’s round up of the best and most unique, likely to go viral lists recapping 2011.
