The “lost love trap” is a type of emotional manipulation tactic sometimes used in unhealthy relationships or by people seeking to rekindle a past relationship. It involves exploiting unresolved feelings or emotional attachment to someone from the past, causing the person to feel guilt or regret for ending the relationship, and using those emotions as leverage to get them to return or stay in the relationship. The person may use tactics like constantly reminding the other person of the past happy times, using emotional blackmail or guilt, and playing on their emotions. This type of manipulation is not healthy or sustainable and can cause the person to feel psychologically trapped in the relationship, unable to move on or pursue their own happiness. It is important to be aware of these kinds of tactics and to prioritize your own emotional wellbeing in any relationships you have.
True love, they say, never dies, but the feeling of attraction between you and your partner will tend to decrease over time, and in some cases, fade away. When your relationship starts drifting apart, and neither of you feels concerned, there are chances that the love you share is already gone. You may find yourself struggling to rekindle something that has reached the breaking point in such a situation. And, trying to do this, you might get stuck in the lost love trap without knowing how to let go.
When love is lost in a relationship, it can either remove the good flavors of a healthy relationship or create room for breakup and chaos. If you discover a sudden drop in communication in your current relationship and a change in the scheme of things you normally do, you might have to analyze it critically to ensure you are not going to be entrapped when the affection is gone.
Although there is no denying it will be almost impossible for some people to let go of the one they love or give up their relationship, nevertheless, it might be the best decision for you to maintain your sanity and heal your broken heart. While some would want to continue with the relationship even when they have fallen out of love with their partner, others would take the next exit to rediscover themselves.
When dealing with heartbreak, the good memories you got from the relationship will always make you feel that everything will go back to how it was, although sometimes they do, most times they don’t. However, accepting that pain is a part of our existence and sometimes inevitable might inspire you to struggle your way out of that situation. If you are obsessed with good memories, then transforming such pain into growth and letting go will become a herculean task for you.
How To Let Go of a Lost Love and Move On
1. Make a Decision to Let Go
Yes, we all crave a relationship that is so magical with an ideal partner we can spend the rest of our lives with. But this is not possible for everyone as we tend to experience heartbreak at least once in our lifetime. Whether you met them at the wrong time or you are not compatible, or there are lots of hiccups, the bottom line is that it didn’t work out.
Depending on what cost you your lost love, setting things right can be the best way to move on. However, the feeling you can’t carry on because it’s difficult to do so will always erupt. Since we are humans, such a feeling is normal, but you may discover yourself going back to think about your past relationship, and you’d probably get stuck and may find it difficult to let go. Nevertheless, deciding to let go can bring you into a world of better possibilities, or perhaps you could meet someone better.
2. You Are Not The Only One And Certainly Won’t Be Last
When you feel trapped in your lost love, you should realize that it is normal, and you are not the first person to be in such a situation. Many have experienced such at some point in their lives and felt it was impossible to move on. However, this feeling can only block you from trying something new. If this happens, always remember that no matter how deep you think your past relationship would have worked out, the reality is that it didn’t.
While some people don’t believe there is such thing as fate, some things that happen in your life are beyond your control. Drowning yourself in memories will not do you any good; rather, it will make you sad and perhaps depressed. When you have reached the limit in a relationship, accept it, take some time to heal, and move on because better things lie ahead. Listening to other people’s stories can also help to keep you inspired.
3. Learn to Build Yourself for the Future
More often than not, when love is lost in a relationship, some people don’t get to think that it could mean they need to improve themselves. You need to understand why the relationship ended in the first place; try to figure out if you are the cause and work on self-improvement. When you keep living in the false hope of a likely reconciliation, it hinders you from thinking about ways of improving yourself, and that isn’t nice.
You may not necessarily move on to another relationship but can seek ways to improve your weaknesses. You can do various things, including having a new hobby, learning to play musical equipment, and enrolling in a course to improve your career, and much more. By so doing, you’d marvel at how much you will achieve when you channel the same energy on personal development.
4. If You Lose the Game, Don’t Lose the Lesson
The kind of attitude you put up after a broken relationship is vital to what your future becomes and sometimes can make moving on almost impossible. If you start acting harshly towards the opposite sex because perhaps you feel it’s the best way to get over a lost love, then you might want to review that decision. People are different, and if things didn’t work out with one partner, that doesn’t mean it won’t work out with another.
By doing that, you might end up getting hurt more. Moving on from a broken relationship requires lots of changes, discipline, and courage so that the same old mistakes won’t be repeated. Try to pick up all the valuable lessons from the past relationship and make the best out of it with your next lover. But be sure to put your feelings in check by understanding that whatever worked in the past may not work in the present. Don’t compare both partners; otherwise, you’d end up ruining your next relationship.
5. Don’t Block Your Heart from Falling in Love Again
Love is a beautiful thing, and there is this sense of fulfillment when with the right person. However, when such a relationship hits rock bottom, some might convince themselves that relationships aren’t for them. In the long run, this would turn out to be a bad decision because you might entrap yourself in lost love and depression. Moving one, you’d learn to become better at everything, including things you never experienced before. Therefore, before making that decision, you should try not to stop yourself from falling in love again. Meeting someone better could help you get rid of the memories or perhaps live above them.
Holding On to Lost Love Could Cost You Your True Love and Happiness
It could be hard to make some tough decisions in life, especially when it has to do with moving on from a lost love. Finding true love can sometimes be a tedious task because some may experience several breakups before finding the right one, while others may encounter a few heartbreaks or perhaps none. But we are certain that holding on to lost love can ruin your chances of finding your true love and happiness.
The truth remains that someone out there would come into your life and change your perception about everything and make you see things in a different light. It could be through words of affirmation, a simple kiss, or even an act of kindness. But holding on to that which you have lost might serve as a discouragement to even attempt.
If you are still holding on to lost love, it does you more harm than good. So the best way to face the future is to let go. When you feel you can’t, try talking to a trusted friend or perhaps visit a therapist. You can also take some time off and have a quiet time, where you try to rediscover yourself. There is no guarantee that your memories won’t surface from time to time; they would, but what makes the difference is how you deal with them.
Can Lost Love Ever Come Back?
When you fall out of love with someone, there are chances you could regain your lost love. However, it mostly depends on why it was lost in the first place. In relationships, you always hear, I love you, I can’t be without you, and much more, but the reality of it is that those words may not be enough to stop your relationship from crashing. When you have stayed with someone for a long time, it is natural that your daily lives can make you forget what is truly important in your relationship – hence, the drift.
However, if your partner is kind enough to tell you why they lost their feelings, it will help you find better ways to revive your relationship. For what it’s worth, even though the romantic connection between you two might not be there anymore, the love will still be there. When you discover your partner wants to rekindle the lost flame as much as you do, then you must try hard to find positive ways to do so, some of which including the following:
Before falling in love, there are obvious qualities that attracted your partner to you in the first place. In trying to rekindle your lost love, the first step is to identify those qualities. It’s time to take your partner down memory lane, reminding them how it all started, memories of your first date, and how promising your love was. When you have this, you will discover you and your partner bonding through the reminiscence of your humble beginnings. From there, you can decide to give it another shot.
Bring Back the Date Nights
You are moving on from memory lane, where you remember how you went on your first date and how magical it was. Now, it’s time to bring back the date nights as this will be a wonderful opportunity to enjoy each other’s company. Going on a date is one way to showcase how dedicated you are to the relationship, and you can choose any destination that suits you best. While at it, you shouldn’t be so serious and formal. It’s okay to be a little naughty, ask fun questions, lean on each other, and kiss often. Through date nights, you will surely make fascinating memories with your partner, thereby rewriting the past and make the most out of the future.
Find Something You Can Do Together
Finding something creative to do with your partner is very thoughtful, especially while rekindling your relationship. Finding things you both can do together can foster cooperation and unity. However, try to ensure it’s something you will enjoy to the fullest and something that you and your partner will give 100% attention to. Some of these include fixing puzzles, dancing, karaoke, cooking, baking, learning something new online, and much more. When you achieve this, it will help rekindle the spark and increase the bond you share.
Go on Vacation
If your daily routine has become less interesting, then it’s time to try doing something spontaneous. Plan your next vacation and let it be full of excitement, as this can be a perfect way of boosting your romantic attraction. You can choose either a nearby destination or a different city altogether. The goal is to get away from the hassles of your daily routine. Depending on how buoyant you are, you and your partner can go sightseeing, horse riding, skydiving, to the movies, and much more. You can also visit museums, parks, and other tourist attractions. All these will ensure you are making the right moves in getting your relationship back on track.
The Gifts Will Do The Magic For You
When you have tried everything, then it’s time to bring back the attitude of giving gifts to your partner. Gifts have a way of making us feel special and appreciated. However, it would be best to be more attentive and sensitive to understand your partner’s needs. Knowing your partner and what they like will always give you a hint on how best to approach them. Similarly, don’t take life too seriously. You might have lost the spark in your relationship, but little acts of kindness, care, and respect will go a long way in deepening the bond between you and your partner. You can also try material gifts during events like anniversaries, birthdays, and others.
Do You Ever Stop Loving Someone You Once Loved?
While it is possible to fall out of love with someone, it is also possible not to stop loving them despite not being together anymore. The pain of losing someone you love could be tough to deal with. However, everyone has different ways of coping with it. Moving on, you could try to distance yourself from the lost love trap and take some time to heal.
At first, it could seem impossible, but it can help put things into perspective when you understand why you should move on. It’s even worse when your partner stops feeling the same way about you. Finding out they no longer need you the way you need them could be more depressing because people become vulnerable when they let another person into the most intimate part of them.
Perhaps he might have treated you in a way you have never imagined, or you were so deep into the relationship that you keep blaming yourself for being the reason it crashed. However, understanding that not everyone you love is not meant to stay with you is another way to inspire yourself to move on.
Finally, many have experienced the most beautiful love stories and best relationships, yet they lose their partner afterward. Although it may seem difficult to move on, leveraging the love and positive sides of the past relationship could lead to inner peace, self-love, and motivation to keep moving.