Being in a relationship comes with its perks, and while there are no perfect relationships, one of the main causes of relationship issues is infidelity. Being with an unfaithful spouse or wife can be very traumatic and depressing, and if not well managed, it can lead to the demise of such a relationship. While some people can easily detect when they see signs suggesting they may have a cheating wife, especially through their actions, which are mostly out of the ordinary, others are just blindsided, without any form of curiosity.
When issues regarding infidelity erupt in a relationship, it is always easy to realize that the signs have been there for a while, but you didn’t pay attention. The cheating spouse or wife also tries her possible best to douse any form of suspicion from their partner. Her utmost goal isn’t to get caught; instead, she tries as much as she can to make everything seem normal. On the other hand, their partner usually draws conclusions based on their initial notion about their wife, making it easy to overlook the less-obvious signs of cheating.
Some men see early signs of infidelity as no big deal until they become obvious and glaring. For a better understanding, there are different kinds of changes that may occur, which point to infidelity. From changes in attitude and appearance to getting new hobbies and seeking new ways of sexual fulfillment, many signs can hint that your wife is cheating on you. Below we have outlined 35 subtle signs that your wife or spouse might be cheating.
It is imperative that these signs may differ from one person to the other and might, in some cases, not indicate infidelity. However, some of them may be the real sign you need to pay more attention to keep your relationship or marriage in check.
35 Subtle Signs You May Have a Cheating Wife
1. When You Both Spend Much Time Apart
If your spouse is not always around, there are chances she could be having a secret affair. However, this could largely be attributed to husbands, as most of them stop putting in much effort in spending ample time with their wife after marriage. This leads the wife to start looking for someone who would give them the needed time and attention. If you realize you don’t spend more time with your wife, it’s high time you started changing that to avoid her looking elsewhere. Similarly, if you confront her about not making time for you anymore and she becomes very defensive, then that would suggest she may have someone else in her life.
2. Her Phone Lines Are Suddenly Unreachable
No matter how little it occurs, a change is always a change. You might have had a routine of texting and calling each other at specific times during the day, but she suddenly becomes unreachable at such times. Perhaps, the only exception is that if her job is very challenging that she doesn’t have to use her phone during work hours; that doesn’t imply she’s unfaithful. However, if such change persists, then it arouses curiosity. Try to pay more attention because an unfaithful partner is always careful about answering calls to avoid their spouse hearing suspicious background voices.
3. She Suddenly Changes Her Wardrobe and Dresses Smartly
People often make decisions to work on their appearance either as part of a new routine or perhaps a new year’s resolution. Such people are always clear about it, and everyone around them becomes aware of such a resolution. However, if your wife starts buying new clothes and wearing expensive cologne, knowing it wasn’t their thing in the past, it won’t be bad to know why. Timing is everything, and when such change occurs at odd times, and you are not getting a good explanation, it raises the alarm.
4. She Seems So Interested in Your Schedule
When someone is cheating, especially your wife, it is natural for her to always find the best possible time to meet with her new fling. By so doing, she will end up being all over your schedule, trying to find out when you’d be done with work, where you would go afterward, and when you’d be home. Knowing all these gives her the opportunity and freedom to create time for their newfound love. If your wife starts exhibiting these signs, you should know that things don’t feel right. Try finding out why; perhaps, she may have a good explanation.
When someone starts a new fling, they are always overwhelmed and do everything possible to be with their newfound lover. This could be one of the signs a cheating wife will exhibit because she will always find many excuses to be out of the house. Unfortunately, it may also affect the time you two spend together. It would help if you watched it, as this can get serious with time. When in the initial stage, the outings are less frequent, but there will be an increase in demands between such lovers when it has been going on for a while. If you witness this, it’s not out of place to inquire from your partner, and whatever answer they give will show if it’s a red flag or nothing to worry about.
6. If She is Trying So Hard to Prove Her Point
When someone starts cheating, there are obvious changes in their usual way of doing things. Someone who is not used to saying a lot to convince their partner but suddenly starts doing more to make their partner see the point they are trying to make or convince their partner could be signs they may be cheating. When you observe that your wife is no longer as confident as she used to be and is trying too hard to convince you that whatever they are telling you is the truth, you might want to ask them questions because playing safe may be a way of covering their cheating ways.
7. She Often Comes Home Late From Work
You may find out that your partner suddenly started making excuses for having too much work in the office and, as a result, makes them always come back late. However, depending on the nature of her job, this could be another ploy to cover up her adulterous ways. More than that, her newfound love could even be a colleague in the office, and if you ain’t smart enough to find out early, this can go on for a long time without leaving traces behind.
8. She Accuses You Of Cheating
One of the major attributes a cheating wife can exhibit is putting you on the edge and playing the victim to safeguard herself. If she often alleges you are cheating on her, you’d end up being the one defending yourself. When you are in such a position, it will be hard to speak up about things that don’t seem right in your relationship to avoid getting her more upset. By playing the victim, she would say she needs time to think and clear her head. Hence, having the golden opportunity to meet up with her lover.
9. When the Usual Fights Between You Have Gone Cold
One of the pointers that all is not well in your relationship is when fights between a couple have gone cold. Conflict is normal in a relationship, and sometimes, they are necessary for the growth of such a relationship. When your partner starts giving you a cold shoulder, then something is definitely wrong somewhere. This could be as a result of them always thinking about their newfound love or cherishing something else, then they will start disregarding you. In a positive light, when you have made resolutions with your partner to do better than having constant fights over issues, such cannot be attributed to cheating. However, when this abruptly happens, and you discover they no longer pay attention when talking to them, it might be a red flag.
10. If She Focuses More on Her Looks
Despite the issues facing your relationship, your partner starts paying more attention to how she looks, what she wears, and her hairdo, contrary to how she used to be; watch out, there might be another person she’s making a huge effort to impress. We all know it is good to always appear smart, but if your wife who cared little about her appearance, all of a sudden, starts buying new clothes, making new hairstyle, and is always in front of the mirror, that could be a subtle sign she is trying to impress someone. To find out, it won’t be bad to inform her about your observation regarding her new looks and finding out what’s up with her. If she becomes so defensive, then, there is something fishy is going on.
11. Constantly Changes Her Phone Passwords/PIN
While in relationships, it gets to a point where you trust your partner so much that you share passwords to your personal accounts with your partner. However, when you suddenly discover that your wife’s passwords are changed, she makes excuses about forgetting the old one or something similar. It might be that they have some raunchy images or erotic messages they don’t want you to see. Although she would give you the new one when requested, she might change it when she felt you are not suspecting anything.
12. Suddenly, She Starts Buying Gifts for You For No Reason
It feels so good when you get a gift, especially when it is coming from your wife/partner. In a relationship where your partner hasn’t been buying you gifts, however, she suddenly starts buying expensive gifts for you, there may be an underlying cause. It could be that she is trying too hard to make herself be at ease or she feels guilty for what she has done. Either way, we all know that giving gifts is one of the ways to make amends or show you appreciation; therefore, when your wife starts showering you with such expensive gifts, she is most likely cheating on you. The only exception, however, which would be hard to tell if it is cheating is when you both have the tradition of buying expensive gifts for each other to appreciate yourselves.
13. She Stops Uploading Your Photos on Social Media
Oftentimes, when two people are breaking up or having issues, their close pals do find out through their social media handles, especially when they are celebrities. If your wife stops posting your photos on social media, but she’s still active, that means she is trying to keep her social media handles clean of any evidence of your relationship. More than that, it could also be a way of telling people she’s open to new relationships. If you notice this change in her social media attitude, don’t hesitate to ask her why. Whatever her answer might be can give you a hint if she’s cheating or not.
14. If Her Phone is Always on Silent
If your cheating wife communicates with her lover over the phone, there is a likelihood she would guard her phone jealously. This could be to avoid getting unnecessary attention and questions on why she doesn’t want to take her calls or answer her messages. Some of the smarter ways to act like nothing is happening would be leaving her phone on silent to avoid getting calls or messages when you are with them. Instead, they see it later and call back when the opportunity presents itself. When you notice this change in your wife’s phone habits, then, she’d probably be cheating.
15. When She Feels Under-Appreciated
When your wife is insecure around you, it can also affect your relationship because when she feels you don’t love her enough or you don’t deserve her, it will lead to other issues. If she feels that way, she might see it as a valid reason to cheat. In some cases, some women would feel depressed for a while until they will find someone else that appreciates them and makes them happy. When you discover this, try to find a way to make them feel loved by constantly giving them words of affirmation that will make them be at their best always.
16. She Gets Angry At Everything You Do
In relationships, it’s normal for partners to get angry at each other sometimes, especially when it’s about something important. However, when your wife suddenly starts getting angry over little things, which leads to fights, then something is wrong somewhere. A cheating wife suddenly detests her husband, everything they loved about you now becomes awful or stupid and even the slightest thing you do gets them upset. If it continues, it might pose a threat to your relationship; therefore, don’t hesitate to ask her questions about the sudden change in attitude. Whatever her answer might be, would tell if your wife is cheating or not.
17. She Removes Her Relationship Status on Social Media
When a relationship becomes so sweet, you will find lovers extending it to social media, where either the husband or wife will always flaunt their happy moments. However, when you discover that your wife has removed her relationship status from her social media handles, then it means something is really happening behind the scenes. Most women who cheat usually use their relationship status on social media to tell their potential lovers that they are ready to mingle. If she suddenly starts spending more time or often talks about social media posts, she might have found a new lover who keeps her glued to recent happenings.
18. When You Talk About Infidelity, She Gets Very Defensive
In relationships, some couples do come out of issues better and stronger while others don’t. When the change in a relationship affects conversations, then it becomes abnormal. If you are talking about infidelity or asking your partner questions and she suddenly becomes defensive, trying to justify her stance, then there is more to it. More so, when she starts answering your questions with questions like, “Why is that important or I don’t know what you’re talking about or I don’t want to talk about it,” probably because they don’t have the best answer that will make you not to suspect them could be a sign your wife is hiding something, which could possibly be – cheating.
19. If She Avoids Certain Restaurants and Hanging Out Spots
Cheaters enjoy playing safe and covering their tracks in the process. For instance, on a weekend, you want to go on a date with your wife and suggested visiting a new restaurant or bar, but your wife suddenly turns off instead of being overwhelmed. She would rather stay at home to cook dinner. This could be because she is trying to avoid the suggested restaurant. After all, she has been there with her newfound love and perhaps doesn’t want anyone to recognize her- she doesn’t want to risk being caught.
20. When She is Eager to Try New Things in the Bedroom
If your relationship has reached the stage where you have become tired of each other, and suddenly, her urge for sex returns. This time, she wants to try new things in the bedroom, then this could be a sign of cheating. She might have been learning something new from another person and wants to try it out with you because she feels guilty. You may have been the type that doesn’t think twice when your wife wants to try something new in your sex life, but it calls for serious attention when it happens out of the blue.
21. If She Starts Ignoring You
A cheating wife can pretend to be in a happy marriage, but this can only last for a while because it will be hard to erase memories they share with their newfound love, even when they are with you. As a result, you might often find her having divided attention when talking about something serious, probably because they are fantasizing about them. Sometimes, you can find her alone and absent-minded thinking about their lover. If this becomes a reality in your relationship, then it could be signs of a cheating wife, or perhaps she might be having an affair, but you can only ask questions to find out if this true.
22. She Suddenly Changes Her Phone Habits
There is this nothing that whenever your partner starts hiding things from you, there is a high possibility they are cheating on you. One of the many signs you’d notice if you have a cheating wife is a change in her phone habits. She might have been the type that is always comfortable answering calls – both work, business, and informal calls – around you, but suddenly you find her excusing you to take calls. More than that, she changes her phone passwords and starts keeping their phone with them all the time. You may notice this change and ask questions but she would give unsatisfactory explanations and flimsy reasons for such action.
23. If She Calls You By Another Name in Bed
Oftentimes, people unintentionally make a mistake that reveals their subconscious feelings. However, some of these mistakes are not to be overlooked. For instance, your wife suddenly starts calling you another name while making love. This could point to the fact that she might be wishing you are someone else, or she is having an affair with another person and mistakenly thought he is you. Either way, this is a red flag and should be a thing of great concern as it shows your wife might be cheating on you.
24. She is Always Texting or Sneaking Off to Take Phone Calls
There are some changes, which when seen, should arouse your curiosity. Whether it is a business call, a call from the office, or from an important client, if she starts hiding or sneaking into the bedroom, bathroom, or looking for a safe zone to answer such calls, then there is more to it. This is because there are some kinds of discussions or expressions a cheating wife won’t want to exhibit before her husband. As such, she always tries to avoid anything that would make you suspect them. More than that, if she is always texting that she often forgets to do a routine around the house, then she might have found a new fling that she’s trying to pay attention to.
25. She Becomes More Curious About Your Whereabouts
If your partner is cheating, it arouses a sense of curiosity in them, and they will always want to know your whereabouts to avoid bumping into you. To some, they might see their wife’s constant calls as being more caring, while others might be smart enough to try to find out why this new change. The bottom line is that whenever your partner is always inquisitive, trying to find out your whereabouts each minute of the day, then there is more to it. You should try to find out. Perhaps they are trying to avoid you walking into them unexpectedly; this could be a sign she is cheating on you.
26. Changes in Her Friends’ Attitude Towards You
If you have a cheating wife, one of the signs she would exhibit is covering her tracks around you than her friends. We all know that friends are easy to confide in, and when such happens, her friends’ attitude towards you may tend to change. While some feel uneasy and anxious around you, others will completely avoid you because they don’t want to spill or act awkwardly, making you suspect something is wrong. When you notice some of these changes among her friends, especially her close friends, then it’s a possible sign your spouse might be having a secret affair.
27. When There is Less Communication, Intimacy, or Connection in Your Relationship
Communication brings life to every relationship, and females are known to be more proactive with it, especially with the man they love. Nevertheless, there are times when she may not have the urge to talk as she used to. If such development continues to re-occur, especially for someone who is naturally chatty and all of a sudden, she starts being cold to you. When there is a communication problem, it will be difficult to build intimacy in your relationship.
As a matter of fact, when your wife becomes cold to you, she might be falling out of love with you, and perhaps, such a change in communication patterns can also be attributed to cheating. For instance, when you talk about her usual favorite topics, she seems uninterested or unexcited to talk about them. This could be one of the clear signs of a cheating wife. Don’t waste time asking her questions when you notice this change.
28. She Spends More With Her Single Friends
When one starts cheating, there are always changes in the pattern of everything they do and what’s more, the people they hang out with also changes. If your wife is cheating or intending to cheat on you, she wouldn’t want to hang out with married people or perhaps those that would want to make her feel guilty about it. Instead, she would prefer hanging out with her single friends, as such, she would feel comfortable discussing her newfound love without being judged or discouraged. If you discover she suddenly has more single friends she spends time with, it’s better to start asking questions from there.
29. You Discover She is Lying About Many Things
One of the most common signs of a cheating wife is through their lying ways. They constantly lie and try to cover up their lies with yet another lie. Your wife might have been telling the truth for a long time, but at some point, you discover she has started lying to you, especially when it is about her affairs. In such cases, she might be trying to put you off her tail by denying every allegation about infidelity. However, when it continues, then you should try as much as you can to gather evidence that clearly shows she’s cheating. More so, be mindful that this could affect your relationship unless it is resolved amicably.
30. She Stops Confiding in You
When your relationship is on the verge of collapsing, you’d discover that everything starts going in the opposite direction. From experiencing a bridge in communication to loss of emotional connection, and secrecy. When a couple shares things, it strengthens their bond, but when you find out that your wife has stopped confiding in you, that’s an indication your relationship is going downhill. With time, you will lose track of things that happen in her life, and sometimes, you’d be lost in thoughts about what she is doing with her time. Try to pay more attention to your spouse to know when this happens, as it can indicate that something is wrong or perhaps she’s trying to hide something – her affair.
31. Her Sexual Urge Decreases or Increases
When your sexual relationship with your wife has greatly deteriorated, there is a likelihood that it’s due to infidelity. When a woman is having two sexual partners, it is normal for her to balance up how she relates with both partners. However, if she is married, it will affect her relationship with her husband, especially if she always had a high demand for sex. Decrease in her sex drive could only mean she is trying to satisfy her fling so that he wouldn’t look for sex when he knows she won’t be available.
32. She Develops Passion For Her Newfound Hobby
One of the signs your partner could be cheating is when she develops a passion for a new hobby or sport out of the blue. Whether it’s going for a walk at the park, going to see a sports game, enrolling in a gym, or music class, there are various activities that your partner can suddenly develop a passion for, especially when they are not there from the onset. It might be after a fight or a way to stay from the house and from you, perhaps meeting up with a new buddy, which might be another man. Either way, when this suddenly becomes your wife’s routine, and she is always enthused about it, then you should ask questions because it could be a sign she now has someone else in mind.
33. When She Always Brings Up Conversations About Cheating
If you have a cheating wife, it will be hard for her to come out directly to open up about her cheating ways. However, if you are smart enough to read in-between the lines, then her thoughts and what she says could give you a hint she might be having an affair. When one is cheating, thoughts of infidelity will always be on their mind, and if they are always bringing up discussions about cheating friends and partners, then it could be a sign your wife may be having an affair. For instance, always bring up topics about her friend whose husband is cheating or her best friend that is cheating on her man, etc. All these signs don’t necessarily mean she is admitting to cheating, it might be she is considering it.
34. Her Schedule Abruptly Changes Without a Good Explanation
For a partner you have known and have been with for a long time, certain changes are normal, but she always notifies you about the sudden change. However, when this change in her schedule now happens always without a reasonable excuse, then there is more to it than meets the eye. More so, it’s even more suspicious when your partner doesn’t have a new job or project they might trigger such change, but all of sudden started changing her schedule. When this happens, it could be one of the signs you might have a cheating wife.
35. She Develops a Sexually Transmitted Infection
The biggest among these signs of having a cheating wife, and clearly, the height of infidelity, is learning your wife has a sexually transmitted infection (STI). When you don’t have a sexually transmitted infection and haven’t strayed, then all of a sudden, your wife gets diagnosed with one. When one has an STI or STD, it could only mean she might have more than one sexual partner. And it is certainly one of the major pointers that you might have a cheating wife. More so, this could be a very pertinent issue in your relationship because if not noticed or treated, there are chances the infection will be passed to you, and you wouldn’t want that.
It is pertinent to understand that what you may consider signs of cheating from your wife may be something unserious in another relationship. If you happen to identify that your wife exhibits one or more of the changes mentioned above, it could be true that she is cheating on you or about to cheat on you. However, confronting her might make you feel worse because it will be hard for her to admit it. At least, not immediately.
When she is truly cheating on you, trying to engage her in a conversation won’t be fruitful because she will deny it. The only way to prove it would be by getting irrefutable evidence or perhaps catching her in the act. If that doesn’t work, to save your marriage, you should consider enrolling for a counseling session, through which she might be able to open up to a neutral person. Although you might have lost the spark in your relationship, you can try these simple things to ignite passion in your love life.