Dealing with emotions when someone has passed away is hard for everyone. At such times, the grieving person or family’s main source of comfort is from the words of condolence people send in. No two situations are the same so the usual, ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ expression may not be appropriate at all times.
As such, having several different ways of expressing sympathy during such tough times as well as tips for writing the right words of comfort to alleviate the sorrow of the grieving person or family is definitely necessary.
How to Write The Best Words Of Condolence
Even when one has the best thoughts when extending condolence, there are many times the wrong statements have been penned down or said to the bereaved. To avoid such awkward expressions the following should be avoided:
1. Do not pretend that the person is not actually dead.
2. Do not deny that the bereaved is heartbroken.
3. Do not make the bereave believe things will remain the same.
4. Do not use the phrase ‘I know how you are feeling’. Different persons have their own unique way to mourn their loss. So do not assume you know how the bereaved is feeling.
5. Avoid using the expression, ‘He/She is in a better place/ in heaven’ except they believe in the afterlife.
6. In cases of death after a prolonged illness, do not offer condolence by saying, ‘Now you can start moving on with your life’. Loss of someone after a prolonged illness does not make emotional pain lessen. The bereaved person would still mourn the loss of a loved one.
7. Telling the bereaved ‘I don’t know what I would do if my [the deceased person’s relationship to the bereaved] died’, will not comfort the person. Rather it will only heighten his/her grief, knowing he/she might never get over the loss of the loved one.
8. Avoid telling the bereaved, ‘Don’t worry, you’ll feel better soon’. Grief is a process and the person or family would need time to morn and get back on their feet, so don’t push them through the process.
9. Avoid saying what you would do or had done at such a time. This might have been said as a way to comfort the person but acknowledge that they are different from you. Think of the bereaved now and not yourself.
10. Don’t be too excited to cheer the bereaved. They need space and time to grieve openly and not pretend to be all jolly and fun.
Different Losses Require Different Sympathy Messages And Words Of Condolence
The emotional pain felt for different kinds of losses varies and as such, what to tell the bereaved would also be different. A list of different words of comfort for different kinds of losses are definitely beneficial.
Words of Condolence for Loss of Father or Mother
- I send my deepest sympathies to you and your family. May your mother’s soul continue to rest with our Heavenly Father.
2. Whenever you lose someone precious, their memory will become a treasure that will be cherished forever.
3. Your father will be terribly missed. We all loved him a lot and his memory will stay with us forever. Please accept our condolences.
4. I am heartbroken to hear about your loss. Your mother was a virtuous woman and she will be remembered for her good deeds.
5. Our hearts are filled with sorrow upon hearing the news about your father’s passing. Our most sincere condolences.
6. Someone as special as your mother can never be forgotten.
7. A mother is with us always, first in her lifetime, then forever in our memory.
8. Losing someone to death leaves a void in our hearts but loving memories can uphold you forever.
9. Let the memories of your father provide you with comfort and serve as guidance.
Condolences Message For Loss Of Brother Or Sister
• Losing a sister or brother is like losing a piece of yourself, but a time is coming when your grief will lessen and you’ll be able to look beyond this moment and focus on happier memories. Until then, know that I’m here for you.
• It is hard for anyone to understand what it feels like to lose a sibling unless they’ve been through it. If you ever feel lonely, know that I am here for you to help you walk through the darkness and find the light again.
• Nothing can take the place of your sister/brother in your life, but may the fond memories you have of her/him shine like sun rays in this dark time. My warm thoughts are with you.
• A sister is that unique person who shares your childhood memories and lifelong dreams. I’m so sorry you are experiencing the loss of such a precious gift. I am here if you need me.
Sharing Your Sympathy With A Bereaved Parent
Losing a child is always a heart breaking moment for any parent. The pain of such a loss is one of the hardest to bear but at such times, only soothing words can help the bereaved parent(s) to stay strong. Some words of condolence to bereaved parents include the following:
- May God hold you tenderly in His loving embrace. May His shoulders help to carry the burden of this grief.
- Grieve may cloud your mind now but hang in there a time will come when your son’s memory will definitely bring you joy. We will miss him dearly.
- Mourning the loss of a child is the worst pain of any parent but at such times, we will surely stand by your side. Please accept our heartfelt sympathy and support.
- I know you had a very close bond with your daughter and I am extremely dismayed to learn about her demise. I offer my heartfelt sympathy as you mourn her.
- I feel truly privileged that I was one of your son’s closest friends and his memory is my most precious treasure. My condolences to you and your family.
Condolences Message for Loss of Husband or Wife
To lose a life partner is one of life’s most excruciating moments of pain and distress, and only words of comfort can be their solace at such time. Here are some expressions you can use to console any bereaved spouse:
- Love endures all time whether good or bad. Believe that your beloved wife surely watches over you from Heaven, and prays for your joy, and happiness here on earth.
- May God give you strength and be your close guide as you mourn your husband’s demise.
- When someone as special as your wife is snatched by death, there will definitely be a pain in the hearts of many. We all join to share in your deep sorrow and pray for strength to bear the loss.
- The family remains forever and even though your husband has gone to be with the Lord, he will continue to live on in all our minds. May you find comfort in the support we offer and his lovely memories.
- Comfort to you, my friend, as you mourn the loss of your wife. She has left the world a little grey since she passed. May you find peace in your own time.
Words Of Condolences To A Friend
Friends are always a source of great support and the friendship bond is one of the strongest bonds in life. This, therefore, makes losing a friend a heartbreaking experience.
Here are words of condolence and sympathy to share with a bereaved friend :
- Death may part friends, but the friendship lives on forever because those times you spend together that defined your bond which cannot be forgotten.
- Your friend may be gone but he continues to live on in your heart, your mind, and your soul. Take comfort in all the sweet memories of times shared together. Accept my condolence.
- The special comfort of having a true friend may have been lost but the fact that you had one will always be a reality.
- Through the tears and heartache, know that you can still hold on to the memories of your friend and they will last with you forever.
- Sending you a warm wish of strength and love in these dark times. I am just a phone call away in case you need anything.
There Are Many Different Ways To Express Condolences Today
After hearing about the loss of someone, it is a thoughtful gesture to send in your condolence. Choosing the appropriate way of doing this is also very important in order to show your heartfelt sympathy to the bereaved. A couple of ways to show your condolence include the following:
A. Expressing Condolences Via Card
Sending a sympathy card to the bereaved can be a very formal and appropriate way to express your sympathy. You can either go for cards with sympathy words already written in them or with plain cards that have no words and for such, you will have to write a short note in it before sending it.
Some sympathy expressions that can be written in the card include:
1. The loss of your father deeply saddens me. My heartfelt condolences.
2. Please accept my/our sincere condolences.
3. It is with a heavy heart that I extend my condolence on the death of your mother.
4. I am honored and blessed to have known your uncle. He was an honorable man who we will miss dearly. My sincerest condolences.
5. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you mourn the loss of your child.
6. Your father will be terribly missed. He will be remembered forever as a man of valor. Our condolences.
7. A rare gem departed from us but his pure heart still beats in heaven. My condolences to you and your family.
8. In this tough time in your life, I pray that our friendship and heartfelt condolences bring you comfort.
9. Sending this with love and remembrance to get through this difficult time. Please accept our most sincere condolences.
10. Our hearts go out to you in this time of sorrow.
11. A thought of comfort and condolences to the grieving family.
12. Our collective hearts are heavy with sympathy.
13. During this dark time, I share in your sorrow and extend my sincere condolences.
14. No words can describe how sorry I am for your loss.
To close your Condolence note or card, you can use any of the following expressions:
- Wishing you peace as you grieve this loss.
- Our well-wishes will be with you throughout this period.
- We send these flowers to express our love. Please accept them.
- With love to you and your family
B. Expressing Condolences On Social Media Platforms
With the upsurge in the people who turn to social media to make announcements, it is now very normal to extend our condolence online. However, before offering your condolence to the bereaved online, it is important to only use such platforms if the person made the announcement online. It would also be very thoughtful to contact the person privately to offer your sympathy after doing so online.
C. Expressing Your Condolence In Person
In cases when the person was a very dear friend or family member, it is advisable to pay the bereaved a visit. This will show your sincere concern and support for the bereaved at such a tough time. In case you are very far from the bereaved, a phone call would be the best option as it is more personal and creates a loser connection than the other methods.
How and When Should You Send Words of Condolences for Loss?
The appropriate time for you to send in your condolence message depends on how close you are to the deceased. For people you share a very close relationship with, it is important that you contact the bereaved as soon as the news of the loss gets to you. This will show your support and concern for the bereaved. Ideally, you should send your condolence message within two weeks after death; however, there is no exclusive right time to send your message of sympathy.
It is also thoughtful to send in your condolence for the loss of casual friends or acquaintances. This can be sent in at any time before the funeral or after the funeral.
How Else Can You Show Sympathy For The Loss Of Someone?
Apart from offering your condolence in words sometimes, you can go a step further by attaching a gift. The traditional gifts most people send along with a condolence card are flowers, a fruit basket, or food.
More so, you can go the extra mile to create a unique memorial gift that captures beautiful moments with the deceased person. A photo book with words of condolence would be a great idea.